If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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