Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
