i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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