I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize