I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
