Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
