Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
