so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
