I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it was like eating out sand paper
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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