Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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