...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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