I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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