i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
