If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
