That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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