I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
