I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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