just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
