Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
