Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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