please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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