i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
