You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
