you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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