So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Are we still banned from the library?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
