Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
