I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
