...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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