I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
