Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
How's work?
Spinning.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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