Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
