They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
