the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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