All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
