There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
