Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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