Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
