i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
