This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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