Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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