So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
