i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
