I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
