no, he came in my armpit
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Houston, we have a squirter
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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