I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
