Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
