I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
