I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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