i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
