my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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