well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
