It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think my mom watched the whole time
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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