my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize