I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
