whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
