If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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