Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
