gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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