I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
