Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
