I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
