Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
