idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
