If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
