Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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