I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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