If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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