its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
