I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
