what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
