I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
